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Episode 44 | Are You a Hot Mess?!

With a unique blend of humor, authenticity, and profound insight, Michelle has earned her moniker, the Hot Mess Alchemist.

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Podcast Transcript

Episode 51: Navigate Life's Messy Moments and Rise Stronger

[00:00:14] Amy: Hello, everyone. Welcome back to the Holistic Health Show. Today, we have Michelle Burke, our guest speaker. Michelle is a bestselling author, a speaker, and a guide. And like myself, Michelle is equal parts spirituality and science. Michelle. Thank you for joining us.

[00:00:33] Michelle Burke: Thank you for having me, Amy.

[00:00:34] Amy: It's absolutely my pleasure. Now, Michelle, I'd love if you could dive right in and tell us a little bit about why you do what you do, where you are. I'm in Sydney, Australia, and you're not, so fill us in where you are as well, and let's just dive right into the conversation.

[00:00:49] Michelle Burke: Okay, perfect. Yes. I am in the States. I'm in New Jersey. I'm actually three and a half blocks from the ocean, so I'm on the beach every single morning. Just part of my morning routine. And, I love being a part of someone's transformational journey. I love witnessing their growth, their expansion, those aha moments, seeing those breakthroughs, watching them connect the dots, truly discovering what I've already seen in them.

[00:01:28] Michelle Burke: It just, you know, [00:01:30] lights me up when they're sitting there in that. uncomfortable period, actually doing the work. And then they get to the other side and they're like, I can't believe what I just did. It's like, I'm so freaking proud of what you just did. That's what lights me up.

[00:01:51] Michelle Burke: You know, guiding people on their journey, helping them discover that magic in their mess as well. , seeing how those low points in their life actually are those moments of growth and expansion. Oh, and that's actually what my book is all about, where I dive into some of, you know, my own messes.

[00:02:14] Amy: It must be an incredibly rewarding for you as well, empowering the people that you're working with

[00:02:19] Michelle Burke: yeah. It is. One of the things that we forget when we're doing the inner work, because we live in this instant gratification society where we want the results like this.

[00:02:30] Michelle Burke: this. And when we want the change like this, not realizing that you got to go through it. You got to go through the mess, through the low points, through the valleys, sometimes back up and over the mountain and back into, you know, the depths of hell again to get to the other side. It doesn't happen overnight.

[00:02:54] Michelle Burke: That's why it's called a journey. That's why it's called a process.

[00:02:57] Amy: It's hard work. It's not linear. We want [00:03:00] to say, okay, well I've made the changes, where's the result?

[00:03:03] Amy: But it doesn't quite work like that.

[00:03:05] Michelle Burke: Yes. I mean, you have to also be able to not only to do the work, but to let go of what needs to be let go of, recognizing that, Ooh, wait, this person isn't serving me.

[00:03:22] Michelle Burke: They might be someone that you care deeply about, but the friendship, the relationship isn't serving you.

[00:03:29] Michelle Burke: It's actually pulling you down and keeping you in a comfort zone and not allowing you to grow and to expand and to step into that higher version or that next version of self.

[00:03:42] Amy: And sometimes that can just be so difficult to accept because even when you acknowledge that that's the case, it's scary to let go. And also there's a bit of grieving involved, .

[00:03:53] Michelle Burke: Yeah, and that's where, you have to sit down and pour yourself that glass of wine or make yourself that cup of tea and just get real raw and honest with yourself. You know, grab the box of tissues while you're at it and, , grab the journal, write down, Where do I want to be?

[00:04:15] Michelle Burke: What do I truly want? What do I need to let go of to get there? How am I stopping myself? Cause that's what it is. It's you like the common denominator is you and that's the hardest pill to swallow . We're the one who's [00:04:30] stopping ourselves from being where we truly desire.

[00:04:32] Amy: At times we're our own worst enemies, aren't we? We kind of get in the way of ourselves and, and a lot of that can be ego, , and even the unknown too, right? You know, it's like, well, I have control over this situation right now. And if I change it, maybe I don't.

[00:04:44] Amy: And that can be scary.

[00:04:46] Michelle Burke: It, it, it can be scary, but as I've been doing this work for, so many years now, I just find it funny and interesting where, like, I use Frozen as examples. all the time. And it's like, Elsa lets go. Like, she lets it go, and she steps into her magic, and she owns who she truly is.

[00:05:09] Michelle Burke: Does she hurt other people along the way that she didn't intend to?

[00:05:14] Michelle Burke: Yes. But she also mended those relationships along the way and she ventures into the unknown, . And she connects with all these different magical beings and learns these different magical parts about herself.

[00:05:29] Michelle Burke: , so if we venture into that unknown, we're gonna learn different aspects of ourselves.

[00:05:35] Amy: .Absolutely. And I think this is, you touch on some of this in your book, right? You have a book called Hot Mess ?

[00:05:41] Michelle Burke: A hot mess magic. Discover the magic in your mess.

[00:05:45] I love the cover.

[00:05:46] Michelle Burke: thank you in the book, I go in and I share a bunch of my messes. Cause let's face it, each and every one of us is a hot mess whether we want to admit it or not. [00:06:00] Nobody's life is perfect. We all have problems. We all have things that we're working through.

[00:06:04] Michelle Burke: So I go through and I share a bunch of my different messes in different areas, you know, finances, relationships career, you know, et cetera. And explaining that mess, how I got into that mess. , 90 percent of our struggles in life go back to, you know, our programming, our conditioning, our generational patterns the way that we were raised, how I got into those, what I learned from them, and then how I got out of some of them.

[00:06:36] Michelle Burke: And then others that I'm still sitting, you know, in some of that messiness. But, , embracing that messiness and working through that messiness, , simultaneously.

[00:06:47] Amy: And it's always through those stories, isn't it? Those messy, non perfect stories that are inspirational, you know? Those are the ones that kind of people can really relate and resonate to and think, gosh, I'm there, or I've been there, or I feel that, and I too want to change that, and it's incredibly inspiring.

[00:07:04] Michelle Burke: And when we're going through those situations, we feel like we're the only person who's ever experienced this. You know, one of the stories that I share in the book is, waking up three days before Christmas , with a car full of Christmas presents, cause I was getting ready to drive to my brother's in North Carolina, waking up [00:07:30] and looking out the window and seeing that my car was gone to then , call the police and find out that my car was repossessed.

[00:07:37] Michelle Burke: Full of Christmas presents.

[00:07:39] Michelle Burke: I felt so low, my worth, my everything my energy was, way down, low. Negative, low, , just being in this state of guilt and shame and depression and all of that. And then having several friends say to me, Oh yeah, I've had a car repossessed. It's no big deal. Like, you're really making me feel a lot better right now by telling me this.

[00:08:07] Michelle Burke: It's like, we feel like we're the only person who's ever been through this when like, we know in reality, it's not the case.

[00:08:13] Michelle Burke: And that's why I believe so wholeheartedly that as a society, we need to drop the facade and, get rid of the highlight reel of social media. And start sharing like the shit real

[00:08:32] Amy: We only, we share the positives, and, and of course, , you want to celebrate all the wins and the highlights in your life, but , you've got to let people know when you're going through a tough time as well so that, you're not sitting at home alone feeling shame or guilt for things that sometimes are out of your control or sometimes it's just, what, yeah, shit happens,

[00:08:52] Amy: , if it happens to everyone at some point in their life, something or many some things occur, and if you have [00:09:00] other people that you can even just have someone to listen to you talk about these things, because they're going to have their own story and they're going to be willing to share it with you once you've shared

[00:09:10] Amy: yours. and you know, I'm just reflecting back because you hear people sometimes say oh You know, why does this always happen to me? I can't I'm finding myself in this situation again and why do I have this luck and you really need to take a moment and realize that until you learn from this situation, there's something you're meant to learn from this particular situation.

[00:09:32] Amy: Until you learn it, the universe is throwing it back at you. You have to sit and reflect and learn this lesson. And then, you know, you'll find that, Oh yeah, okay. I've moved past that now. You're probably going to get some other challenges thrown at you along the way, but that one might be resolved.

[00:09:49] Michelle Burke: It's also making yourself not energetically available for those things either. It's like, okay, you know what? I am not energetically available for that. Pull your energy back from that situation, that individual. Claim your power back. Because we so willingly give our power away and nine times out of 10, we don't even realize we're giving our power away just because of the way our society is.

[00:10:22] Michelle Burke: And it's like, no, take your power back, stand in your power, pull your energy back, put that [00:10:30] boundary up and just be in your space and honor you.

[00:10:36] Amy: , and sometimes getting that power back is just about learning to say no. You know, not always being a yes person, like you mentioned setting the boundaries there are so many people out there who just say yes to everything until they're exhausted and they can't fit anything else in and they're still trying and it's like, just say no.

[00:10:54] Amy: You know, you've got to learn to say no for yourself Once you learn how to do that that gives you so much more life and opportunity and rest,

[00:11:03] Michelle Burke: Exactly. And it's sitting there and saying to yourself, do I want to do this? Does this bring me joy? Is this going to bring me pleasure or excitement? And if it doesn't. Then, you know, ask yourself, why am I saying yes to this or , if I have to say, yes to it, you know, how can I make this fun?

[00:11:29] Michelle Burke: How can I, , make this a little more exciting? , Oh, you've got to do, , carpool for, , your kid's soccer team and , you're not in the best mood today. You don't want to be doing carpool. Put some fun music

[00:11:42] Michelle Burke: on. Take a different route.

[00:11:44] Michelle Burke: , make it an adventure. Play a game in the car with the kids. Find a way to make it fun.


[00:11:50] Michelle Burke: Don't like making dinner? Turn some fun music on. Have a dance party in the kitchen while you're cooking. Like, find fun ways to [00:12:00] just shift the energy. You know, music and moving your body are two of the easiest ways to shift your energy.

[00:12:06] Amy: Absolutely. And so quickly too, sometimes you just start to get in the groove and next thing you know, Oh, I've got a smile on my face now and today doesn't feel as bad as it, as it did. And sometimes it's about, being comfortable Taking time to do nothing and just be in yourself, you know, you know, so many people feel so guilty , they don't have their weekends all booked up or oh gosh.

[00:12:27] Amy: I did nothing on Saturday You know, I didn't do anything productive. That is totally okay because not doing is actually quite productive and helpful for Your mental and emotional and physical health your creative brain There are so many things to be said about doing nothing and just sitting within yourself

[00:12:47] Michelle Burke: Yes, because Netflix and chilling is still doing. , we think that we're doing nothing, but we're still active. We're still doing. Our brain is still actively engaged watching whatever it is we're watching. Doing nothing truly means doing nothing. Sitting there and just, sitting there and simply just being, or the only thing you're doing is breathing.

[00:13:13] Amy: And all often, I'm like you, I live very near the beach sometimes I'll go down there to work, but I'll, so I'll take my phone or my iPad or whatever I'm working with that day, I'll, but I'll put it on airplane mode and keep it in my bag.

[00:13:25] Amy: And so that when I'm down walking, you know, it's, It's quite a lovely beach and there's an area to [00:13:30] put your things and so I'll, then I'll place my things there and I'll go for a walk without my technology and I'll go for a swim. You know, you're obviously not taking it there and I'm consciously not taking these things with me because, you know, you have your phone in your pocket and you're, you're on your walk, it's beautiful, but you hear a ding.

[00:13:45] Amy: So then you're thinking about that. So I'll just check it for a minute, but you're not alone anymore.

[00:13:51] Michelle Burke: Mine I have my phone on do not disturb until 9. 30 in the morning. So, There are no dings, pings, and even in general, my ringer is always off but there's nothing that if I need to grab my phone to see what time it is or if the sky looks amazing and I want to take a picture, you know, there's no notification on my screen is going to distract me

[00:14:22] Amy: and I think people don't realize, you know, cause they'll say, actually, my husband was guilty of this when he was studying he was studying on his computer and so everything dings. When I study, I have do not disturb set on. So nothing happens other than what I want to happen.

[00:14:39] Amy: And when I was, we were sharing the office space one day. And I could not get any work done, and he was supposed to be just quietly getting ready to do an assignment or something. I turned to him and I said, do you know that every 30 or 45 seconds something on your computer has made a noise? I said, I have done no work [00:15:00] in the

[00:15:00] Amy: last 30 minutes because it's just all of this noise.

[00:15:04] Amy: I said, and they're not even my notifications and I'm thinking, what the hell is that? So I can imagine you're sitting on this computer, you know, what each ding, what each app is, you know, it's your email, it's your work, this, it's your work, that, and then, you know, you've got your WhatsApp. I said, so you're hearing all these dings.

[00:15:19] Amy: Your brain is telling you what app is making the noise, so then you're thinking about work, then you're thinking about who's texting me, or who's emailing me, or what call have I missed. I said, how are you getting any work done? And so, it was a couple of days later, and I guess he kind of took that on board, and he said, so Amy, I quietened my computer while I was studying, and he said, it's remarkable how much more productive I am, !

[00:15:43] Amy: I was like, that was so overwhelming for me, because I like, Nothing going on when I'm doing one task and he said yeah I I didn't even realize that this was the case and I said your brain must be just pinging You know from all

[00:15:55] Amy: that and people don't realize that even if you're not opening it You've just spent brain space thinking about what that ding was and then trying to come back to your activity So yeah, that was an interesting moment for the two of us

[00:16:08] Michelle Burke: Well, yeah, because we've become trained like Pavlov's dogs, you know, with our phones. It dings. We, you know, Oh, what was that? I need to go check that. , no, it can wait.

[00:16:22] .

[00:16:22] Amy: . And so many people think it can't, you know, but what if it's this and what if it's that? It's like, well, it's very, the likelihood of it being an actual emergency are very [00:16:30] low. You know, and if it is, they'll, they'll ring you again straight away. It's an interesting Kind of way society has evolved and I think, I don't know if maybe COVID made it worse because we're all just sitting there kind of waiting for something to happen.

[00:16:43] Amy: I don't know, but it's very prominent. You know, you see people, you know, just walking down the street and, looking up to kind of dodge other people, but barely, you know, and. I don't know. There's, there's a lot to be said about spending some time just in the world around you.

[00:16:57] Michelle Burke: Yeah. And true, and truly connecting with nature,

[00:17:02] Amy: Well, I'm a big advocate for that. So I have, you know, an episode on grounding and the benefits of that, that people just don't realize how we need to be connecting with nature and it's incredibly important. A lot of people just don't anymore at all.

[00:17:17] Michelle Burke:

[00:17:17] Michelle Burke: I'm, an outdoors person, so that just boggles my mind. Where even in the winter here, if it's, , 10 degrees out, like, I'm still taking that walk up to the beach. I'm putting the layers on, I'm putting the heavy coat on

[00:17:36] Michelle Burke: and I'm taking that walk up to the beach.

[00:17:39] Michelle Burke: And sit there and be perfectly comfortable and just stare it at the ocean and just be

[00:17:46] Amy: There's nothing I love more than being at the beach, that's for sure. I want to go back. , we've talked about your book, you're an author and you're speaker and a guide, and we touched on some of your client stuff, but I want to know more about how you're guiding people through,, life or experiences.

[00:17:59] Amy: Can you touch [00:18:00] on a little bit more about what someone could experience when working with you?

[00:18:02] Michelle Burke: So I connect with, whomever I'm working with energy, you're Guides your higher self, your spiritual team, . And we're just going through, you know, also connecting in with your body and looking at where those emotions are stuck in the body and just shifting them, , hitting those different, acupressure points, those different meridians in the body and moving and moving that energy. And that's one of the things that automatically happens when I start working with someone. The second I get on that call with you, I have this innate way where I can start clearing without even realizing that I'm clearing.

[00:18:58] Michelle Burke: I automatically just pop up into the higher realms and I start clearing. So we can even like sit there and I can sit there and we can be channeling, you know, conversation and clearing simultaneously or like taking you through a meditation and clearing simultaneously, which is why so many people say to me, like, I've worked on that for years. And you like pinpointed it immediately. We [00:19:30] shifted it immediately. It was like, yeah, you've worked on it for years, but you were scratching the surface. I like to always look at it as an artichoke. We have to peel back the layers to get to the heart. The heart is where the goodness is. You've pulled back those first few layers, I just pulled back the rest of the layers to help you get, you know, a little bit closer to the heart.

[00:19:53] Michelle Burke: You've done work already on this. And that's the other thing that we have to remember is most of the people that I'm working with are already doing or have already done some form of inner work.

[00:20:09] Amy: And it can be frustrating when you're doing it on your own and you can't quite get there. And it's always beneficial to bring someone else in and just offer a new perspective or a new modality. And then when you get that release, I don't think any like, you know, it's, it's not something you can understand if you've never got there yet.

[00:20:26] Michelle Burke: You feel the release, yes, you feel that release physically and what's coming to me, and I've never used this analogy before, but it is a really great analogy, is, it's like, when you have that amazing orgasm and your whole body just relaxes and is at ease, it's like you feel your whole body just shift.

[00:20:51] Michelle Burke: Or you're just at that point where this is the point that I was at you know, a few months ago [00:21:00] where I just sat there and I went, okay, I've taken myself as deep as I possibly can take myself. I need someone to take me deeper. Cause now I'm diving into shadow aspects and multi dimensional aspects and I can't take myself there on my own because my ego's getting in the way.

[00:21:22] Michelle Burke: And this is where we have to remember that, coaches, guides, mentors, healers, lightworkers, whatever you want to call yourself, we also all need a coach, a mentor, a guide, a light worker, a healer, you know, whatever you want to call whomever you want to work with.

[00:21:39] Amy: So Michelle, where can we get your book and where can anyone interested in working with you or even just interested in finding out more about you do that?

[00:21:47] Michelle Burke: You can purchase my book on Amazon if you are outside the United States. My book is not available on Amazon in the United States, in the United States, you can find it on Barnes Noble Walmart Indie Books

[00:22:05] Amy: I was looking at your website and I think you have some of these listed there as well. So I'll share your website and any other links that you want to share with me so that people can get in touch with you in the description of the video or the episode, if you're listening on podcasting platforms and not YouTube

[00:22:20] Amy: and then I encourage anyone who wants to just even have a look at the website, check out the book, head over there and do that. You're always welcome to make a comment on the [00:22:30] video. Or flick me a message if you're not too sure and we can have a chat and I can make sure that gets to Michelle,

[00:22:35] Amy: ask Michelle how she can help you because as, as she said, and as I, you know, I completely agree, sometimes you just need a little bit of extra push, a little bit of extra help to, to get there and you won't regret it it's another step in the right direction and giving you that really fulfilling life.

[00:22:51] Michelle Burke: And sometimes, oh, we only need that, One or two sessions, just to get us over that little hurdle, , to take us to that next, that next level.

[00:23:03] Amy: Even to discover what we need next, you know, we don't always know what we need next until we've really closed the chapter on something else.

[00:23:10] Amy: Michelle, I really want to thank you for coming on to the show today and sharing with us. I'm going to check out your book. I'll be able to buy it on Amazon, so I'm looking forward to that showing up in the mailbox.

[00:23:21] Amy: And again, thank you so much for sharing with us. Anyone listening out there, you want to get in touch, head to those links. And as always, if you enjoyed the episode today, I would love it. If you would like and subscribe and leave me a review,

[00:23:36] Amy: The reviews really help keep myself and our guests motivated to keep doing the work that we do and reaching new people. So thank you, listeners. Thank you, Michelle.



Read my book, "Hot Mess Magic - Discover the Magic in your Mess"

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