Episode 13 | Emotional Fitness: Unleashing the Power of Your Emotions with Anna Baylis
Discover how embracing and understanding your emotions can lead to transformative personal growth and enrich your relationships.
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Episode 13: Emotional Fitness: Unleashing the Power of Your Emotions
Emotional Fitness - Unleashing the Power of Your Emotions with Anna Baylis
[00:00:43] Hello everyone and welcome back to the Holistic Health Show. I'm really excited to have you here with me today for another guest episode. Today we have Anna Baylis on the show. Anna is a mind body coach, an Olympian, a nutrition and fitness [00:01:00] specialist, and the founder of M. O. O. V. E. Welcome to the show, Anna.
[00:01:04] Thank you, Amy. It's good to be here.
[00:01:06] Yeah, it's a pleasure to have you. Now, today on the show, you're actually going to talk to us about the importance of taking care of our emotional health.
[00:01:16] This is not something that we've had on the show yet, and I'm really keen to hear all about, you know, the impacts of our emotions on our health, not feeling them, I suppose,
[00:01:27] and then
[00:01:29] kind of the results that we get when we do acknowledge, I guess, working through them.
[00:01:33] And the health benefits overall. So I guess to get us started jumping in, I'd like to hear a little bit about your experience and kind of how you come to this. Realization that emotions are really impacting our health. So just a little bit of a backstory about
[00:01:51] you. Yeah, sure. Well, emotions was something that was foreign to me.
[00:01:56] So the word emotion and feeling emotions and as [00:02:00] an athlete, I would very much, it was for me, you know, get back on your bike and you'll be right. And it's sort of the conditioning from my past that, you know, my parents didn't know any better. You know, they didn't know how to process their emotions.
[00:02:12] They weren't taught how to. So it's really what we take on in those younger years as to how we process our emotions. So for me, it was, you know, being told, you'll be right, you don't cry, these sorts of things that my parents have been told. So for me, that. Yeah, I took that into throughout my, throughout my adulthood years into my athlete years.
[00:02:32] And it helped me. It helped being an athlete because I could just get back up on the bike, yeah, if I fell off or if there were an injury or illness or sickness, it'd be like, yeah, you'll be all right. It'll be okay. Yeah. All the while suppressing these emotions and emotions are part of us, they're, they're energy.
[00:02:49] So for me, it was that, I guess, coming into, after being an athlete, that coming to relationships. And I think that was the moment for me where I [00:03:00] realized, okay, I need to start feeling these emotions because there's something within me and I keep withdrawing, I keep shutting down, not knowing what that was and affecting relationships.
[00:03:11] And that's where it did have that impact in relationships, just not being able to resolve conflict. Not being able to express myself. And then on my journey of becoming a life coach, mind body coach, and emotions are a big part, a big part of what we learn throughout the course and also dealing with clients.
[00:03:31] And so just knowing that they are a part of us. It's the way we've been conditioned is the way we then process them or don't process them. Yeah. We suppress them or we become them so the energy of the emotion, right? So no, or perhaps that resonates with some listeners that, you know, you feel like you're becoming the anger or withdrawing with the sadness and just shutting off.
[00:03:56] And through my experience with clients and my [00:04:00] own healing. So with my own coaches and my own therapy so we all have our. Trauma, that word trauma, which is really an emotion that hasn't been fully felt that stays in the body and, and makes itself, makes it itself known over the years. And this is one of my big beliefs in this, in this emotional world is that.
[00:04:20] The emotion sits in our body. It's just distress. It's an energetic stress on the internal world and that manifests itself as, as illness and disease. And there's more and more studies showing this that it has a direct impact on our physical health, which then affects our mental health as well. Yeah,
[00:04:39] and I see that a lot in my energy work.
[00:04:41] So I do reiki as a professional practice and I see that a lot. Emotions, you know, that have been buried down. Yes. Or not
[00:04:49] acknowledged. Yes.
[00:04:51] I suppose you're right. It's been passed down from the, you know, even my parents as well, you know, it's it's [00:05:00] just, sometimes, you know, just get, like you said, get back on your bike, or you'll be right, or don't cry, and even just now you hear, when you want to make a child feel better, we often do say, oh, it's okay, don't cry, you know, and we don't necessarily mean anything negative by that,
[00:05:17] but just maybe go ahead and cry,
[00:05:20] because you do feel better after a good cry, I do.
[00:05:23] Yes. I feel better after a good cry. And so do I. It might make others around me feel uncomfortable.
[00:05:30] Generally, if they're feeling uncomfortable while you're crying, then they haven't dealt with their own. All right. So that's a common thing that, you know, if we feel uncomfortable around someone's anger or someone's sadness and we can't hold space for them and holding space, I mean, really being there for.
[00:05:45] in their emotion and helping them feel it, you know, instead of getting angry back at them for being angry. But yeah, it's certainly something that is coming to a lot of people's awareness now because of, there's a lot of [00:06:00] depression and anxiety, you know, showing up more and more in the community.
[00:06:05] And. And, you know, I, I believe too that this is very much associated with emotion. So depression, pressing down, that word depression is depressed down, so pressing down, suppressing these emotions and they have their frequencies, emotions, you know, they all vibrate at different frequencies. And we have our sadness and our anger, fear, that are really low vibrational.
[00:06:28] You know, I think you remember back to COVID. Times where it just felt so low everyone you wherever you went there was this low vibe that we would feel Yeah, and the supermarkets or and that's the fear It was very low vibrational and that drags you down and I have a lot of clients reaching out saying I don't feel stuck Stuck is a big one.
[00:06:47] I'm like they're stuck in their emotion, right? to me I know because that's through my experience of working with clients that When we can get to the emotional world, get to it, witness it, validate what's going on, [00:07:00] experience it, not become it, but just let it be, let that emotion be and run its course, because it will, it'll come and go, energy wants to move.
[00:07:09] Now like you said, in your clients, you find these blockages. They are. They attract energy. And the body keeps them. The body holds on to them. That's where our subconscious is in our body. So that's the, the work that I do with a lot of clients is helping them come back into certain things that have happened in their lives, certain moments, defining moments, memories.
[00:07:29] And it doesn't even have to be going back into something. Yeah. It's sometimes people just feel their emotions and there's no real attached event. And that's okay too. But it's a matter of. Knowing how to release them in a safe way, and that word safety I think is the key because often in those moments as a child when we've been told not to cry that is not, not safe.
[00:07:51] Being told to do something. I think it sticks with you. And the natural process is to cry, right? And to release these emotions and to have them, [00:08:00] free them of our bodies so that we, you know, not later in these later years of our life experiencing these things like depression or anxiety. Yeah or even conditions in the body that, that distress, yeah, that over time and over years and compiling, compiling, compiling, the body's going to go, hang on a minute, yeah, you're going to feel something back, whether it's, yeah, back, neck, shoulder, knees that something's going on, there's sort of, it'll be whatever part in that body that's the weakest that, that this, Energy, yeah, is then, makes itself known, yeah, because it wants to be heard, and that's a big part of emotions.
[00:08:39] Thinking to you, you know, you just said it's the natural response to, you know, feel the emotions, and I'm thinking of times when I've had to really fight not to cry, or fight not to laugh, or remind myself, don't just be angry right now, you have to kind of control that.
[00:08:55] It's, it's really interesting the relationship that we as a society have with kind of [00:09:00] all, even the happy emotions, you know don't get too excited and don't, you know, so
[00:09:06] it's, I think it's
[00:09:07] not just, and you know, correct me if I'm wrong, but not just the relationship with the negative emotions, but the feelings of happiness
[00:09:13] and Oh, a hundred percent.
[00:09:15] Yeah. I find this often too with clients that they've been suppressed or told not to be so excited. Like you said. Don't get so excited. And I see this in my son because his excitement comes out as, you know, you want to shut it down because sometimes it's just over the top, over the top. I remind myself, it's okay.
[00:09:32] I know he's excited. Just let him be excited. And that's how he expresses his excitement. Yeah. He expresses his anger totally different. But if we're going to shut down the expression, and that's the word expression, that it's self expression. We're expressing these, this energy that, that wants to say things perhaps in those moments of anger.
[00:09:49] Alright, that wants to say things in moments of excitement. Yeah, so 100% what you're saying, it can be any emotion. It can be, it can be those really beautiful, positive [00:10:00] vibe emotions that are shut down too. Or don't be so silly. That's a big one. Yeah. And that's playfulness in kids. So silly to me is, I see it as playfulness.
[00:10:09] I'm like, shutting playfulness down is, oh, that's shutting life down. And then you find adults that can't be playful anymore. They're just so serious and lost that playfulness. And that's because it's shut down. But we can, we can repair. So we can go back. We can go into these emotions and heal them. And healing, I mean, like I said, in these.
[00:10:30] Sessions that I do with clients that we really, I offer that safe space so that if emotions come up, like crying or anger that I, I, I guide them through it. I guide them into their body and this is something that we forget how to do because we're so, yeah, focused on staying safe again, back to safety and that's here.
[00:10:51] It's a, how do I stay safe? And the mind, we go back into the mind. Yeah, that's vulnerable. Yeah, but you've got to come into the body to feel because the energy there, it's, it's [00:11:00] right there. It's coming up. It's presenting itself. And then we sort of, a lot of times busy ourselves to, to suppress it, you know, cause it's just, it's uncomfortable.
[00:11:10] The body wants to go back to familiar and comfortable. Yeah. Which is really our pain zone. You know, I say this often, our comfort zone is not comfort. When you realize that you're stuck and you're lost and you're confused and you're feeling depressed and anxious, that's not comfortable. All right. So. No, certainly not.
[00:11:24] No. So it's about sitting with the uncomfortable emotion. Yeah. Sitting with that unfamiliar, but knowing how to is a difference because, yeah, we need to. Get into those sensations, you know, that it will present itself.
[00:11:37] And even in, you know, we mentioned that it, it can manifest physically. Yes. And I also think about, you know, cases where I've seen it kind of just, people just then explode.
[00:11:47] Yeah. You know, or, or collapse and exhaustion and
[00:11:51] yeah. It's really
[00:11:53] Gosh, it's a really important topic and the more kind of you talk about it the more I'm thinking so my mind is reeling here, [00:12:00] but I guess there's I'm feeling two sides of this coin and one is How do I or our listeners?
[00:12:08] Mm hmm sit
[00:12:10] with and allow ourselves to be comfortable with our emotions Mm hmm, and then the other side, how do we?
[00:12:18] Help others, you know I can think of one person in particular in my life who and they will know who they are. They're watching this I can guarantee you who is Just doesn't know what to do. And it is a bit awkward sometimes, you know, if you're working or Just helping a friend through a traumatic experience or but what do you do?
[00:12:38] You know, is it a pat on the back? Is it saying nothing and just sitting with them? So I guess they're kind of two questions that I have here that I'd love for you to kind of yeah Great. Help me with great questions.
[00:12:49] I love that You're sort of thinking now that we're having this conversation about you know, certain things.
[00:12:53] I hadn't thought of that Yeah, or getting that, that mind going, the curiosity surrounding emotions. It's about [00:13:00] normalizing them. So I love that we're having this conversation because we want to normalize emotions, right? Because when we start feeling them, they come shame kicks in. I shouldn't be feeling this way because I've been told I'm not allowed to cry.
[00:13:10] That's so common. When you start feeling them, you judge yourself, you know, you start judging yourself, start blaming other people. I feel this way because you did this to me and years ago my parents did this. Alright, all that's resistance. So just to answer your question, to, to allow them, yeah, we want to give them permission.
[00:13:27] So that's the first thing, yeah, when we're helping someone through, you validate it. Due to, it hasn't been, you know, validated, it's actually been suppressed and told. It's been rejected. It's been abandoned. Well, we abandon ourselves every time we don't feel an emotion, right? That's the other thing. We're disconnecting from self, but we've been taught that way.
[00:13:48] So now it's about re teaching your body. Right? To come, well, re teaching yourself to come into your body. And if a friend's going through something, then it's, it's certainly validating. [00:14:00] I can imagine you feel this way, right? And especially with children, teaching them super young, you know, mirroring them and going, you know, getting your face on that level and coming down to their level and really, you know, putting that sad face, I can really imagine you feel sad.
[00:14:14] So they see that as, this is sadness. Instead of, don't cry, you'll be alright, because they don't know what sadness is. So, yeah, coming back to how to process them is certainly validating, yeah, if a friend's going through something. Even if it's anger, I can imagine you're really angry right now, validating, holding space is a really important one because the, the energy or the emotion needs to be held in this safe container.
[00:14:43] Alright, safety is everything, because when, when these things have happened, traumatic events, the nervous system goes into either shutdown or, or arousal, yeah, hypervigilant, so on guard the whole time, alright, there's a lot of us that are in that state or in the shutdown, it's about [00:15:00] bringing it back, bringing it back to that moment of, oh, I'm safe.
[00:15:04] Yeah, so when someone is feeling emotion giving them that space to go. I'm safe. I'm safe to feel Validating. Yeah, whole hugging is a beautiful one We all need to it's what we needed when we were young that we perhaps didn't have and I know adults it feels a bit Yeah, sometimes awkward perhaps with your partner To hold and to be held.
[00:15:25] And for me it was certainly a process to learn how to be held. Yeah, due to just, it felt weird. It felt like, nah, don't hold me. I don't want to be held. It feels, I feel weak.
[00:15:34] Oh wow, yeah.
[00:15:35] Yeah. So my partner and I have been working through a lot.
[00:15:38] See, I'm a hugger. I'm a, yeah. I only just discovered that.
[00:15:42] I didn't realize. Yeah, interesting.
[00:15:44] Yeah, but that's what the emotion needs. And then it's yes, yeah, just letting that pass. And, you know, if you. Going into more depth and detail would be to ask them where they're feeling it in their body. You can do this with kids. Where are you feeling it? Cause then you come out of the story because the mind wants to [00:16:00] say the story.
[00:16:00] It wants to go, Oh, but you know, or why am I feeling this way is common. It doesn't matter why. Yeah. What matters is the energy and it wants to be seen. It wants to be heard. It wants to be validated. It wants to be released by feeling felt by feeling. So feel to heal is a very common saying, you've got to feel it physically and you will.
[00:16:21] And it comes out really quite painful in some, some clients and even myself going through my healing of my, you know, things that have happened in my past, physically it hurts. And then you can imagine if you, when you do this work and do this healing and growth, yeah, that pain, I can then see why it manifests as something because it's super painful, but we want to release that before it gets to any sort of condition or, or injury or something manifesting some, somehow in the body, some health effect.
[00:16:52] And that's where that combination, emotions to health, you can see now, I'm sure Amy, how that. Flows in, [00:17:00] ties into health.
[00:17:02] absolutely. And even you know, we're saying about how it manifests over time and it can become, you know, this real physical. Yes. But I'm thinking in an immediate, you know, when you feel an immediate surge of a particular emotion, sometimes you might immediately then feel nauseated or faint.
[00:17:21] And so you have this immediate reaction at times. Yes. You know, just outside of that long term build up, but that immediate kind of, no, I don't like this. And this is making me feel queasy and
[00:17:35] yeah, right.
[00:17:36] So normal. But the immediate is actually a build up from the past and emotion doesn't know time. Oh, okay.
[00:17:43] Yeah. It doesn't know time. It just, it's energy. It just comes in and it's been, there's been perhaps a trigger. So, the word trigger is something that, you know, has... Recognizing. Correct. Triggers are good. And often you're in a relationship that, where you're triggered all the time, that's a, that's a good thing.[00:18:00]
[00:18:00] But often it leads to couples splitting because they don't know how to deal with, they don't know how to work through triggers. So, I work with a lot of couples too, to help them identify, that's a trigger, it's actually not your partner. Because you, like I said, the, so say the, the emotion comes in and it's a, this is a thing that gets attached to an event, an event in the past, it's happened and you haven't processed it.
[00:18:24] So something similar to that event comes into your life, right? And it triggers, it pushes on that energy in your body, right? And then the emotion comes up. So that's presenting itself there, in that moment, however it could be from 20 years ago. Right. Until you feel it, release it, then you're cutting the tie between the event and the emotion.
[00:18:48] So the triggers, they will lessen until it's fully felt. And then you have the opportunity to feel other emotions too. So once we release these suppressed [00:19:00] ones, and that's where a lot of joy is lost, through suppressing emotion, happiness is lost. I get a lot of clients coming, I'm just so unhappy. I'm like, yeah, okay, let's explore.
[00:19:09] And they want it, they look to the external world. Yeah, I'm not happy with my job. I'm not happy with my partner. This is all external. And I'm like, okay, we're gonna go in to your inner world, to your emotions. And, and so many times, I've just got a really beautiful example. A 63 year old guy came in last year, end of last year, zero happiness.
[00:19:28] He'd given up on life. He had abso and this is male, right? Male and emotions, yet been told not to cry. And, and we went through his past, some trauma came up and we, we, I guided him through it and. You know, it, it was incredible, the, the change in him after the sessions we did, over a couple of months, three months perhaps with really witnessing these emotions, giving him that safety that he never had, to really heal, [00:20:00] yeah, and grow.
[00:20:01] So this is the thing, when we're not feeling these emotions from the past, we get stuck in that emotional intelligence of a kid. And you'll find often if, you don't know if it happens with you and your partner, but you fight like kids or fight like teenagers. Yeah. Yeah. So you feel like a teenager. You slam the door and that's because the emotion is stuck with like freeze framed emotion in our emotional intelligence.
[00:20:23] We grow physically. All right. We grow intellectually because we study, we learn, you know, new life experiences. However, the emotional world often is so stuck, you know, in those moments of childhood. Frozen. Okay, and it's not until we go back, revisit it, like we did with this gentleman. And he, I just, it's just such a beautiful thing to witness, yeah, especially males.
[00:20:48] Because again, that society has shaped them into being the strong ones. The providers, all these things where they've got to stay strong. Emotions are weak. Men don't cry. Men don't cry. Boys don't cry. [00:21:00] Yeah. And to see him shift, yeah, he, we opened up, so it's sort of opening up the flood gates, I call it, or the pressure cooker on these emotions.
[00:21:11] And he allowed himself to cry in front of me, which is amazing to cry in front of other people. He hadn't cried for ages. Like ages. He couldn't even remember last time he cried. He sobbed all night. Yeah. He, he, after a session, he said, Anna, I just, I cried all night, but the next day he was ecstatic. He said, I feel, I feel like I'm on cloud, cloud a thousand and it shifted everything because he, he healed.
[00:21:37] Felt these emotions, he'd witnessed them and all the joy and happiness that was suppressed with it because you suppressed one, you suppressed them all. Came back up and he was a new, he's a new man. He's still floating , I think. Think I
[00:21:51] actually I think he sat with you on on your YouTube channel, I think.
[00:21:55] Yeah. Yes. Maybe I have the, the menu mixed up. Yeah. No, that's him. I'll link him [00:22:00] down. So yeah, that's Alan. Yeah. So listeners can have a, a look.
[00:22:04] That was
[00:22:04] remarkable. I really enjoyed watching that. Yeah.
[00:22:08] I'll link that one down. Oh, thank you. Yeah, that's, this is the thing, Amy, and I love that we're chatting about this again because we want to normalize it.
[00:22:16] We want to normalize emotions, that it's okay to feel, it's okay to feel anxious or depressed too. It's only when we start judging ourselves, like, I shouldn't feel this way. Why am I feeling, that's trapping it. It's keeping it in your body. It's keeping the energy stuck. And it's these moments where then we, we are, we're given that opportunity to heal and the emotions have the opportunity to be healed.
[00:22:39] And that's a big one, listening to someone that's, you know, going through something, giving them the space, back to that space to be heard, right, because in those moments back in childhood when things have happened to us, teenagers, teenage years, that, that there wasn't the opportunity. We didn't know how, for one, to, to process.
[00:22:58] So in these beautiful moments. [00:23:00] That I get to witness with my clients, they get to reconnect back to themselves and this is the, this is the journey of self love. It's the journey of coming back to who you were that, and we don't, we don't realize it in those moments when we're not feeling emotion that we are abandoning ourselves.
[00:23:17] All right. If we're not telling the truth, we're abandoning ourselves and often we suppress the truth because it's too shameful. To say, and that's another emotion that's being avoided if we're not, you know, telling the truth about things, that's, that's avoiding shame. But shame loves shadows. So if we keep holding on to it, the darkness is just going to grow and that builds inside of us.
[00:23:37] And there's no wonder there's a lot of people feeling depressed or anxious due to this just not having the opportunity, not having the opportunity to be heard, seen understood is another one. And those moments of reconnection to self changes everything. It's not just the emotion being released and, you know, they get the opportunity to meet their inner child, come back to their, you know, [00:24:00] wounded younger self and be the champion for them and parent them.
[00:24:03] And that's the growth. And I was talking about the emotional intelligence growth starts there. Once you start to feel them, you grow. Yeah. Once you start to parent that inner child and connect. You grow, and it's the growth journey of emotions that is, has that holistic element to it, that health element, that it's healthy to feel.
[00:24:28] And I've had to switch my mindset over the years, because it's, the athlete mindset was no, you just get on with it. You lose a race, you just get back on, yeah, you know, don't cry about it. Yeah. Yeah. There's another race. Yeah. There's another chance. But in those moments I've abandoned myself. Okay. Yeah,
[00:24:48] I mean, it's a loss that you're feeling. Yeah. You know.
[00:24:51] Yeah. Yeah. It's okay to feel anything. All right. Yeah. And those reconnected. Moments, they are so [00:25:00] beautiful to witness when you have those moments where you go back to that younger six year old self that, you know, first day or not first day, but that's the first year of high of primary school.
[00:25:11] Yeah. That you have to, yeah. The parents, that connection to the, to the mom or the dad is, that's a big thing. And often we don't realize these things that, we, we do, and, and if we're told not to cry, you'll be right. School's going to be great. Yeah, just smile. We put on a face, on a mask. And we then have a facade.
[00:25:33] And then we, you know, try and be joyful in painful moments. So we're doing the opposite. And then we're not being our true authentic self. And we disconnect from our body. And that's a big one too, yeah. When we can come back and reconnect to our body. Our body, there's the intuition that is there, the wisdom, our soul, it's all in here, instead of being driven by the ego and the inner [00:26:00] critic of the mind.
[00:26:02] It's gonna keep us safe, it's gonna keep us small, it's gonna keep us stuck, yeah, alongside those emotions. That's so fascinating. It's a beautiful topic.
[00:26:16] Yeah. I'm, yeah, my mind is, like I said, I'm really thinking here and I'm going back to what you were saying about the couples that you treat and the relationships, you know, in, in my own relationship, I can think of, and I don't know if I can actually identify them.
[00:26:34] And I probably won't now anyway, but we have the same argument. Yeah, I think there are, you know, I can think of two arguments that we have, and we've had been having them since I've known him.
[00:26:44] Yeah, so there you go, and
[00:26:47] I, I think I'm, you know, I'm realizing that's a, you know, that's on repeat. So that's something that one of us or both of us have, I guess, we're stuck on something and it's
[00:26:59] Yeah. Cause it [00:27:00] is. It's all, you know, and
[00:27:01] you find yourself in that moment arguing and thinking, didn't we didn't we argue about this six months ago? Why is this a thing again? And nobody's necessarily done anything, but somebody is a suddenly
[00:27:11] gotten upset. Yes. Yeah. It hasn't been resolved. So that energy of emotion, the trigger, so it's a repetitive trigger that hasn't been brought back.
[00:27:20] Cause you can imagine, like I said, when there's a trauma, when there's something that happens in the past that has an effect on us emotionally. Emotion comes into the body, it's like a circle, and it wants to complete the circle. So if you're not completing it by feeling it, you know, say that younger self, went to primary school for the first day, felt really abandoned, rejected, not safe at all, but didn't feel it, it stops halfway, and the cycle doesn't return, it stays there.
[00:27:49] So you now, with your partner, something comes up that's similar to that, I'm just giving an example. It pushes on this. Emotion that's halfway and still not going anywhere because it's [00:28:00] not being fully felt. Right. And it needs to come back and complete the circle. That's why triggers are great, cause you get to complete the circle.
[00:28:06] But the freedom is on the other side of the trigger. The freedom from that, from that argument, that conflict is on the other side of the trigger. And what we need to do is then ask yourself in those moments, what am I feeling? Instead of coming, you know, going into that argument and continuing to justify, or you want to be right.
[00:28:26] Someone wants to be right, generally. Usually me. I'm usually the right one. Okay. So that's pretty much, very much ego about being right. Yeah. All right. So you've got to come back to being vulnerable and go, actually, what am I feeling right now? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. What's in my body. And emotions have messages.
[00:28:42] The messages they carry are incredible. Until you sit with it, really listen to what it's saying. And that's part of the prompting that I use with my clients. You know, if that anger had a voice, what may it say? And then all this stuff comes up. And it's just from, it's not directed. And [00:29:00] in those moments, if you're not doing it, you'll direct it at your partner.
[00:29:03] Because he's right there and right
[00:29:04] now. Certainly do. It's the easiest one there. Well,
[00:29:06] that's, that's again, emotion does no time. So it's his, it's to do with him. Cause he's the one in front of me and whereby it's got nothing. And we, yeah, we come into this. This, this focus, this narrow focus of, of almost like he's the predator and it comes back to that stress response from trauma, which imprints our nervous system.
[00:29:27] And it's almost like, yeah, we're, that's the, he's the predator. So it's, it's him. It's him. We've got to really come back to safety, feeling the emotion. Really knowing what's underneath your trigger, what emotion that's looking within. Yeah, yeah. Looking within because every behind our behavior, human behavior is very, very fascinating.
[00:29:49] Like when it comes to emotions, because we all behave in a certain way, there's an emotion under it. All right. Emotion drives our behavior. Okay. So [00:30:00] underneath the emotion is a need. So especially in, in relationships, if you're not getting your needs met, yeah, whether it's to be heard, to be understood, to be seen, whether it's just day to day things that you want, you know, to have done, but they're not getting done.
[00:30:14] So that brings up an emotion and then you behave a certain way. Yeah. So if we can really get, sit with our emotions. To be able to change behavior because often yeah, I'll bring it back to a very common theme or common Self sabotage program is emotional eating So it's it's in those moments where the emotion comes in.
[00:30:37] It's You've been trained to go and soothe by eating, right, comfort, to find comfort in the uncomfortable emotion. It's such a program that, that's very, very common. So I teach clients this, when you, you know, you've got to break that of going to, go to, to eat. That's the behavior behind the emotion, is what I was saying.
[00:30:57] Yeah, so you feel the emotion, [00:31:00] okay, and then you no longer, that behavior shifts. It's, it's breaking that cycle of feeling the emotion, getting uncomfortable with it instead of masking it, you know, pushing it down with food, which is really, yeah, as we know, not, not healthy and just leads to a vicious self.
[00:31:18] Self loathing brings in more emotion of guilt
[00:31:23] and regret afterwards when you've eaten that tub of ice cream. Yeah.
[00:31:27] All of that floods in and if, you know, we just need to educate people that there's emotion behind it. If we sit with that emotion, sadness, loss, grief, anger, all right, instead of behaving from the emotion to go and numb it.
[00:31:43] It's the same with addictions, you know, like, like drugs, alcohol. Same thing. Yeah, it's coming. It's avoiding feeling the emotion, and it's, it's bringing in relief from an external, which really isn't, doesn't last long, right, so that emotional [00:32:00] eating, yeah, you're relieved from that feeling discomfort for a little bit, from the emotion, but it's still there.
[00:32:06] And again, then you feel worse, but same with alcohol. It gives you that relief, that moment of relaxation, but essentially it's all still in the body. There's, it's not a solution. It's just a bandaid on, on the wound, but the wound needs to be revisited or the wound needs to be healed in that emotional healing space.
[00:32:26] Yeah. So I'd be interested to know what your feeling is underneath those triggers. Yeah. When you get into that, yeah, that cycle or pattern with your partner. Just stop and go, what am I feeling? What is the emotion?
[00:32:41] It must be a hard thing to do, you know, when you're angry or someone's upset you to take a minute and, and stop.
[00:32:48] And I mean, I joked then about, you know, I was being right but I've. Over the years, I'm happy to say that I've been able to take some time and, you know, if I was [00:33:00] the cause of an argument, or, you know, it was me who was triggered just go, actually, I was wrong, and firstly admit that to myself, which has not always been easy.
[00:33:09] Yeah, you know, it's easier to go, no, I was right, and I'm sorry. Standing by it, but you know, admitting firstly to myself and then to whom, whomever I've had the argument with. Yeah. And kind of sheepishly tail between my legs go back and say, yeah, I, that was inappropriate, or I was doing the wrong thing. I acted emotionally.
[00:33:28] And yes, that in itself is not easy. No. You know. No. So, To do that, to, to firstly stop in the middle of this offset or argument or, and then have the capability to reflect on it, it's not an easy
[00:33:47] thing to do at all. It takes a lot of awareness. Amy, so what you're saying, you gotta be aware that it's an emotion, so you gotta be present with yourself and not the other person, and too often we're present with what the other person's doing or not doing.
[00:33:59] [00:34:00] Instead of focusing on self and going, I mean, I need a, I need space here, I can feel something coming in my body, I can feel anger, I feel like there's anger there, I need space, alright? And then, I love that you brought that up, owning it, we've got to own it, and you've owned it after. If we can own it in that moment, that's what I mean by owning it, I'm feeling a little angry right now.
[00:34:21] I need some space to process this, or to find out what's going on, yeah, within myself. You are owning it, and that is one of the steps to feeling emotions, yeah, first is identifying it, labeling it, yeah, knowing, yeah, sort of describing it, locating it in your body. And there's a, there's so many emotions, you know, I present a wheel to my, to my clients and they're like, Ooh, that there's a lot of emotions.
[00:34:46] Yeah. I was going to ask, I was
[00:34:49] going to ask you about this because, you know, having worked with some, you know, children in that it's just getting them to, to know what they're [00:35:00] feeling. We all kind of know happy and sad. But there's a whole lot, you know, and like you said, you've got this wheel. So do you find many adults who don't recognize this is what I'm feeling?
[00:35:13] just don't. Yeah. Yeah. Even myself. Don't know what the emotion is. Yeah. When I started, I had no idea. No idea at all. I could identify sadness, perhaps, and anger, but I would, I blocked it all out, like, I'm not an angry person. Yeah. Because if you see it in your childhood and you don't want to be that, then you take on, I'm not going to, I'm not an angry person.
[00:35:32] So you suppress all your anger. So yes, to identify them is, it's like learning a new language and the language is expressing these emotions. It, there are a lot of them, but it does get easier as you go along. You can identify, Oh yeah, actually I feel disgust. Like I didn't even know, you know, that was an emotion when I first started.
[00:35:51] I'm like, disgust. Yeah, that is one. Yeah. There are some under there that I do feel. And being able to, yeah, [00:36:00] label them, identify them. Is, is vital in owning them. So, owning them, this is mine, alright, without shame, without guilt, guilt's a lot, another one that creeps in when you start feeling a certain way, or you feel guilty for feeling that way.
[00:36:16] Without shame, without blame, without judging yourself, all of that is a blocker. And that's the resistance to feeling, it'll stay in your body, and you'll keep repeating that argument. Because you haven't owned the, the emotion, you haven't owned it, actually I'm feeling angry right now. It's your emotion.
[00:36:32] Like, this is a thing. We gotta... They're ours. Like, they're not... We're not a... The thing is to be aware not to take on that I am an angry person. Like, that's your identity. You gotta be careful. Yeah? Yeah, I am anxious. You're not anxious. No, it's... I'm feeling. I'm feeling a little anxious. I'm feeling. I am not it.
[00:36:51] Yeah. Because then you'll always be angry. Yeah. And you'll, you'll pick fights. Yeah. Your subconscious will pick fights. You'll go and have an argument because you, your identity believes [00:37:00] you're an angry person. So it'll search for evidence to prove that you're an angry person and then you'll just be an angry person.
[00:37:06] Instead of going, I'm feeling this energy of anger in my body right now. And often it's, you know, the jaw or fists are clenching, you know, really sort of tense. Yeah. Right. Just getting to know. Tightness in the shoulders. Yeah. Yeah. Getting to know those. Yeah. These, these almost symptoms or sensations, how they present themselves in their body.
[00:37:28] Sadness might be in your chest, yeah, sort of aching, aching heart type thing, yeah, that's, they, they, they do, they show up, their energy, alright, and, and yes, owning it is a big one, owning it, feeling it physically. To release it. And you do. We need to stop and take that time. That's, that's important. Just check in with your body.
[00:37:49] So anyone who's kind of wanting, you know, to take a step and get to know their emotions and for example, if working with you, [00:38:00] what does that look like? You know, is that a sit down meeting where you two kind of hash things out? What's the process
[00:38:07] here? Yeah. Well, often we, at the start, I like to know where that person is in their, in their life.
[00:38:13] And also what challenges. Yeah, it's important to know the challenges, the struggles first. So from that, we can identify them. Yeah, we need to go to the root cause of things. Yeah, because there's, there's a reason why people are feeling the way they're feeling. And it does stem back to a root, a root cause.
[00:38:31] Yeah, or a need. Like I said, you know, every behavior, there's a feeling underneath it. And there's a need that needs to be met. And often needs aren't met as children. We're not, we don't have, we don't get them met. My parents haven't been taught how, they haven't got theirs met. So we feel a certain way and then the behavior comes out.
[00:38:49] So it's a matter of going back into, you know, some memories. And often that scares people because they're like, no, I'm not going back. It was too, too, you know, I've put that away already. I've [00:39:00] compartmentalized it. I've put it away. I'm not going back. So essentially you're abandoning yourself when you do that.
[00:39:05] So it's a matter of reconnecting. There's many ways of doing it and emotions when someone feels safe and I have that. That gift of having, giving off that energy, safe energy. So that it just comes, things come up in sessions automatically. And then it's a matter of me guiding through sometimes memories come up with the emotion.
[00:39:24] Yeah. We reconnect back to the younger self. It'll just come up. And then after the session, they're like, Oh my God, I'd forgotten about that. All right. Or there's things that keep repeating in someone's mind that, you know, keep showing up and they keep thinking back to that moment that needs to be processed.
[00:39:41] Yeah. So there's many ways of doing it. I've many different strategies to, to help heal emotions and to help them to be released. All right. Cause often if you, if you haven't felt one for many, many years. It can be so foreign and I, you know, run a group a move group, it's called a [00:40:00] movem group.
[00:40:00] So movem is for men. And this is a, a community coaching group that I have alongside my one on one coaching. And in this is a space where it's a small group of people going through a transformational pro journey over four months. And in that is so powerful because you, you have a, it's not just me that, you know, is on the other side and listening to these emotions, get to express them to a group of people.
[00:40:28] There's so much power in. Healing as a community and, and even the men, they're opening up about, you know, if they're feeling anxious or if they're feeling depressed or shame stories, you know, sharing a shame story is something that's going to free you from your past. Right? So there's, again, many ways.
[00:40:46] I bet that's a hard thing to do. Yes. But once we normalize it, normalize it with men, allow them to be vulnerable, we're all the same, male, female, we've just all got a heart, that's all, we're all [00:41:00] energy. It's just the way we've been conditioned. To, as to then how we process or don't process emotions, and you can see the shift in these beautiful groups that are run from the start to the finish, and that the vulnerability that comes out if one starts doing it, especially with the men, as soon as we started, one of the males came on and he, he was, oh, amazing.
[00:41:25] Once one starts, the other go, yeah, well, I'm going to, I'm going to share my shame story too. Yeah. Yeah. And they just. It's, it's, it's beautiful. It's, they're connecting back to self. They're so vulnerable. It's so beautiful to see someone in their raw, authentic state, right behind all the masks. It's so beautiful.
[00:41:43] There's so much beauty. All right. When a client cries in front of me, I'm just like, Oh, this is beautiful. I love it. I love the healing process that they, I know that it's doing them the world of good. I know it's going to bring them out of their so called comfort zone. Where they're feeling a lot of pain into this [00:42:00] pleasure of life and life, you know, we, we want to feel good and we want to experience life.
[00:42:06] We don't want to be living from our past. And often we do where this emotion or energy from, from the past is trapped in our body, aligned with our belief system. Yeah. Cause we take on these beliefs as a young child. Yeah. That perhaps going back to that first example, the young self that goes to school.
[00:42:24] Yeah. Mom doesn't love me. You know, she's getting rid of me now, so I'm not worthy, I'm not enough. This starts to kick in, and then you feel that way, so it's a matter of... Yeah, that's very heavy. It's heavy. It's heavy, heavy. What young kids in that developmental ages, 0 to 8, what happens there, that is the imprint for their life.
[00:42:44] That's the direction. Right? Because our, we, we, alongside our identity, like I said, those beliefs really create our reality. Because our filter in our brain is going to filter through. All this information from the world where everything is available, but it's going [00:43:00] to filter through these beliefs. Which then create our thoughts create how we feel, and then our, our action or non action and our results.
[00:43:10] So there's a, a lot to do with getting back into your body because you'll discover those beliefs as well.
[00:43:17] I was just thinking about these children that we kind of throw out into the world and we don't know what it is there. Onboarding, so it's, it's almost a wonder that we all become independent adults, you know?
[00:43:31] Yes. And, you know, we can use the energy of not feeling enough to really prove ourselves. Yeah. So for me, I've worked through a lot of, you know, not feeling worthy, not enough. We all have these constraints within our, within our subconscious, you know, that have held me back.
[00:43:49] But I went and became an Olympian because that made me feel enough. But that was external, it had nothing to do with my internal world. I still felt like I wasn't enough and I wasn't worthy, yet [00:44:00] I got to just train my, you know, train my heart out to get to a point in my life where all that glory that, you know, being an Olympian, Commonwealth Games, Ironman, Hawaii Ironman, you know, I'm enough.
[00:44:13] I did it. Whereby, it all comes to surface when you're in relationships. But for me, that was the point because relationships weren't working. Yeah. So then it's a matter of going to the internal world and back to you saying it's, it's, you know, it's amazing that we all turn out independent adults. We, we get through because we use the energy paths to prove ourselves.
[00:44:38] To feel like we're enough and we, you know, do these things, we achieve, achieve, achieve to feel like you're enough and you're worthy and people are noticing you. It's like, oh yeah, I'm enough, but internally, that's what we got to look at. We've got to look at if without that, without the Olympia Anna, without the Hawaii Iron Iron Anna, who am I like, there's
[00:44:58] a lot of, and I wonder if even, you know, [00:45:00] that's rigorous training.
[00:45:02] I mean, you were, you were busy, you were training, I mean, you've. You've become an Olympian, you've gone to Hawaii for Ironman, you know, I guess part of that and, you know, I'm just, it's just as we're talking here, I'm just thinking, you know, maybe that's, you didn't have time to think about your emotions. You know, you were getting an out somewhere, somewhere
[00:45:22] else, so.
[00:45:22] I was, do you know what I was doing, Amy? I was running from them. They were not there. I was running from them. I was riding from them. Yeah, wow. Yeah, yeah. Quite literally. Yeah, literally. No, I'm serious. We do. We run from them. Yeah, no, yeah. Busier, same thing. If you're busying yourself, you're running from them.
[00:45:37] I was just actually physically running. I would actually put that into action, you know, all the anger into action and really punish, I would say, yeah, hurt myself on the bike. Like when I was training, I would go to levels, extreme levels of pain. It takes away the pain of the other pain, the actual emotion pain.
[00:45:56] Something else to think about, something
[00:45:57] else to focus on. Yeah.
[00:45:59] Yeah. [00:46:00] So I see it now, I've had to change my mindset that emotional healing is training, the athlete mindset. It's, it's bringing me closer to me and I've noticed that the, the, the healing I've done over the last three years. The emotional healing has been that of, it's been cathartic.
[00:46:19] It's been therapeutic. It's been connective. It's allowed me to have better relationships, much better relationships. I was disconnected from my emotional world. I was disconnected from my, my own self expression. I was disconnected from the joy, the happiness, and until now, when you can really come back and I've nurtured my inner 12 year old, yeah, that went to Switzerland without parents and you know, there's a traumatic story behind that, but I've nurtured her now, yeah, I've been able to come back to her and give her what she didn't have in that moment, you know, to reconcile the past.
[00:46:55] Yeah, it's so beautiful that I can then move on emotionally and have [00:47:00] an actual relationship in, as an adult. Because they, the past ones were teenage, I was, I felt like I was stuck in my teenage, perhaps 12 year old self and that's how it would present itself whenever an emotion came up or I'd just do what I always did, I'd just go for a run or I'd, you know, do something to avoid that and that doesn't work in relationships, we've got to, we've got to be able to have those moments where we can be raw, we can be vulnerable.
[00:47:26] There's nothing more beautiful than being vulnerable in, yeah, in a relationship and allowing each other that space to feel. Yeah. To heal. And the difference it's made in my life has just been that of, because relationships are so important in life. You don't think what's important in life, right? It's the connections we make.
[00:47:45] It's how much fun we have. It's the experiences we go through. Okay. And if we can, if we can really connect on a deep level and not these surface. Yeah. Relationships. There's so much more to having the intimacy to in a [00:48:00] relationship that shifted everything for me. Yeah. The closeness, being able to be held, being able to have a, an, an a relationship on another level that I didn't even know existed because I was blocking it.
[00:48:12] I was at my walls up. It's like, nah, no one's getting to me. I've been hurt before. Right, and the thing is, you get hurt again. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I just, I just attracted hurt. Yeah, so for me, abandonment was a big one. Being abandoned by my first boyfriend, my ex husband abandoned me. And it's just, if we're not, and I was abandoning myself.
[00:48:30] So I've attracted these, yeah, we've got to take responsibility for it. You can't just say my ex husband cheated on me. It's his fault. This is, how did I play in that relationship? What, you know, what did I bring to it? And abandonment was a big one that I've carried through and now I'm not abandoning myself anymore.
[00:48:49] I'm not going to get abandoned. I just know that. And I know because I'm, I'm true to myself. That's beautiful. Yeah. And that's where we look at these patterns that we've. [00:49:00] You know, we've created from the younger, younger self from our conditioning and we can't blame anyone. Yeah. Can't blame our parents.
[00:49:08] They didn't know any better. They've done the best they can with the tools they have. And this is all just that acceptance, acceptance that it's happened how it has. All right, we can't change that and it can't have happened any different any other way because it didn't that's another acceptance quote Because it yeah, and that acceptance is going to help us move past It's going to help us heal and often I get clients coming to me and they know their awareness is amazing I'm aware of everything but yet not taking action.
[00:49:40] Yeah, I know this Anna. I know I go Well, you don't know if she's not doing it And they're not doing it because they can't accept. That second step is accepting. Accepting that these emotions are here, they're mine, and I'm going to heal them and I'm going to release them. Accepting I've got this belief that I'm not good enough, well I'm going to work on it.
[00:49:57] Every day I'm going to, you know, do things [00:50:00] that are going to support me to feel internally like I'm enough. There's a lot of emotional healing surrounding that, you know, because we got to, we can't just you know, say these affirmations to, to change, you know, we need to feel that actual attachment to not feeling enough and what that feels like, because there's a lot of pain surrounding not feeling enough and not feeling worthy.
[00:50:21] Once we've felt that we can, the affirmations are great. It's like, yeah, I am enough. I am enough. I am worthy. But really feeling it in your body physically, that's where emotions actually are great. There's another side to emotions. They can help us manifest. Absolutely. I've manifested so much with emotions.
[00:50:39] And you know this through the chakras, yeah? So the, yeah, manifestation from having this idea, the consciousness, right? Visualizing it through your third eye. So important. Speaking, speaking about it, yeah, through the throat chakra. So the heart where the emotions are, the devotion that [00:51:00] comes with it, right?
[00:51:00] The excitement, the joy. Of, of that visualization that's going to happen, hasn't happened yet. Yeah, we're creating an event before it's happened with thought and emotion. So we can use them, we can use them to create, all right? And that's what we want. We want to create our future from the present, not from the past.
[00:51:19] And the past means emotions. The past is our programming, these beliefs. We want to create it from here, from these emotions of how would that feel? That's how I created my MOVE program. And the idea, I'm like, oh, I'm going to do this, this aligns with all my values and yeah, I want to get people moving because that's the idea, they're out moving while I facilitate, they're outdoors.
[00:51:41] And so it's all aligning with the values and I'm teaching them, so they're growing. I'm helping them heal, had the idea, visualized it, very good at visualization due to being an athlete. Spoke about it with my partner, said this is what I want to do, we bounced, you know, these ideas, we brainstormed, the [00:52:00] emotion was there, the devotion, I was all for it, like this is awesome, I'm going to do this, yeah, so excited.
[00:52:05] And then brought into life. So I brought it down further along the chakras, so that action center, the will, I have a strong one, and put things into action. Yeah, I was, you know, had that, in that second chakra phase where the, you know, things may happen. You gotta be a little bit flexible in that. Yeah, so adjusting things as it comes along and then embodying it.
[00:52:25] Actually going these are the dates, I'm doing it. And that's how it began. So I'm very much all for using your emotions, yeah, to create. All right. It's such a. Emotions. There's so much we can talk about. So when we start. I completely agree. When we start to really have education surrounding emotions. And start to go, okay, they're, they're okay to feel right.
[00:52:52] There are no negative ones, right? It's just, they're low vibrational. They feel a bit, yeah, uncomfortable. All right. They're not, we [00:53:00] can't really label them as negative. All right. Cause that's going to keep them stuck. Cause we're like, Oh, I don't want to feel them. They're negative. They're low vibrational.
[00:53:06] Yeah. They feel, yeah, they feel great. All right. However, on the other side of that is you had a feeling that you, you, you get from a night, you know, really good cry or feeling you get from an anger. Release of anger. Yeah. Me and my partner go to the Tulangi forest in Victoria and we go, yeah, scream. Yeah.
[00:53:25] Yeah. Wow. Yeah. We go thank the trees. I bet that feels great. So good. Yeah. Yeah. So therapeutic. We go thank the trees first. We go, we're back. We're back for a scream. Yep. Yeah. And just letting it out. Yeah. Yeah. The Japanese, it's Japanese therapy. Yeah. They, they knew. The Japanese knew. And it's, that's a part of energy coming out.
[00:53:46] And we want to discharge this energy, you know, otherwise we're going to have this build up, you know, that's going to get, yeah, triggered at some point, all right, it's going to happen that's going to cause these explosions, these conflicts or withdrawal or [00:54:00] depression, all right, so it's so much. When we start to open up our emotional world, first normalize it, normalize it's okay to feel.
[00:54:09] Starting with kids, and for those that have kids, you know, you just, as soon as they, you notice they've got an emotion, you, you, you normalize it, you validate it. Yeah, let them have it. Yeah, let them, let it rip. I let my son, you know, he'll slam doors and, you know, I won't go tell him off for it. I'll just, if he's break something, I might, but.
[00:54:28] It has those moments where he just wants to let it out, and he'll regulate now. And kids, younger kids can't regulate, they can't self soothe. And even adults can't. They're
[00:54:37] learning, you know, they're learning what do I do to get this emotion out of me, you know, or,
[00:54:43] hmm, they're experimenting. Well, if we can give them that space to do it and not shame them for it.
[00:54:49] Don't get angry. Like a lot of people have probably heard that. Yeah, of course. It's not just don't hide. Mm-hmm. You, you shouldn't be getting angry. Like Yeah. That means you can't be you. So [00:55:00] in that moment, they take on it. Like I said, they take on the humor mask. I've done it, my son's done it. Where you laugh at things that aren't actually, that are really serious.
[00:55:08] And you laugh in that moment. Because that laughter has helped you. It helps you get through. It's what you took on. It's a behavioral adaptation from a painful experience. It's a coping mechanism. And then we take that through to adulthood. And you get into an argument with your partner and it's really serious.
[00:55:27] And your partner's upset and you start laughing. Try that one on. That one's not great. That was very much me. I can see how that's a problem. That's a big problem. Yeah. Big problem, but it's very common in men, right, that humor mask that, you know, the female in the feminine energy. Make a joke of it. Yeah.
[00:55:45] Well, and emotions are the feminine and this is where the male, you know, often struggles to get into that space, right? Because it is, you know, the energy of the feminine coming up. And, and they're going to find that with their female partners that they're going to be more [00:56:00] emotional which you know, I say be more emotional, they're going to feel their emotions more because they're not being emotional because that again is taking it on as they're, you know, they're sensitive or, and this is something we've got to be really careful with.
[00:56:11] All right. And, you know, I know it because I've come from masculine energy, like a lot of masculine energy and I've had to get in touch with that feminine energy, feminine feeling emotions. And it, it makes a huge difference when we can connect. And males do it really well. Yeah. They're just as good as it, as females.
[00:56:31] It just hasn't been accepted. Yeah. To talk to them otherwise. Yeah. Yeah. They've been just conditioned. And we can, we can recondition. We can heal the past. We can create new ways of thinking. Yeah. Our belief system. We can create new ways of feeling. Yeah. And we have that choice. It's a matter of, you know, owning that perhaps, yes, I'm struggling at the moment.
[00:56:54] I've got these challenges. Reaching out, yeah, to have guidance and support [00:57:00] to be able to heal, you know, these, these parts of us and come back to self. And again, this is back to self love. You're creating a relationship with yourself. Yeah. That is so beautiful. You're being vulnerable yourself. You're being true to yourself.
[00:57:14] And that gives you the option to have much better relationships. Yeah. You got it. It starts with you. If, if you're having issues in relationships over and over, which a lot of people do and I have. Right. Then I'm like, well, it's, yeah, not blaming that other person. Yeah. Well, we just didn't get along. Yeah.
[00:57:32] We just weren't for each other. Weren't meant to be. You know, all these. Yeah. When really. I had to look at myself, like how am I contributing, what, you know, if my relationship with myself isn't great, in terms of self love, then we hide it very well, you know, I'd come across as, you know, a person that's really confident and, I mean, I've done the work, I'm doing it still, it's ongoing, but say three, four years ago.
[00:57:54] I imagine it doesn't end, yeah. It doesn't end, no, and more triggers may come up and that's okay. [00:58:00] Yeah, it's just about getting comfortable with the uncomfortable. That's where the growth happens. We've got to get uncomfortable. So if we fear something we want to get, yeah, that's the direction and the direction to go in.
[00:58:13] So I get it with my clients. It's a group. A group coaching is not for me, Anna. I'm not good in groups. I'm like, it's for you. Right. If that's exactly what, if that fears you and you're uncomfortable speaking in a group, then that is so for you. Then do it. Then do it.
[00:58:30] So you're helping people through the move and the move em you know, you're guiding and you're working through all this and I guess, you know, the individuals in this group setting are leaning on each other, they're, they're.
[00:58:43] You know, they're helping each other through it as well, and growing. Yes. Is this, you know, is this are you guys meeting, is it, you know, a weekly meet sort of thing? Is it an online activity? What
[00:58:53] does that look like? Yeah, it is. Yeah, so we, we meet, it's a four month journey, and we meet three times a week, so there's a lot of [00:59:00] accountability.
[00:59:00] In that, there's a lot of showing up for self, and there's a lot of carving out time for you. And this, I've found, makes a little, makes a little, well, it's one of the big big shifts in people, when they go, I'm doing this for me. Yeah. I'm going to carve this time out, because nobody does it, let's be honest, you know.
[00:59:18] It's a big commitment, you know. It's a commitment, but you're committing to self. Alright, and often I've found that clients have just gone, oh my god, I feel so much better now, I'm going to do this for me. I'm carving this time out, so we meet three times a week. A couple of the sessions are during the day, so they're 12 to 12.
[00:59:33] 30 in the lunch break. So getting out, yeah, as I said, and it's facilitated through Zoom. So they can be anywhere. I've got in my move group now from Perth, a lady from Perth, her partner's going to join as well from Perth. So it's, yeah, it can happen anywhere. And then we meet on a Monday evening or Tuesday evening for the men.
[00:59:53] And that is a celebration of self. Now, this is a profound shift I've found in many, many [01:00:00] of those that have done MOVE is that you've got to come up and present what's working well and celebrate yourself and go, this is, you know, I've felt into this emotion and I'm getting to know my emotions. So actually, Acknowledging what you're doing well, and what's working, and your growth.
[01:00:16] Everyone gets to share that moment with you, others get to share their growth moments. And then we all dance at the end. Alright, get the good vibe happening. Yeah. To actually embody it. You don't just, you know, often we just speak from our head. Here we go. Yeah, I did really well. Yeah. I'm doing this really well.
[01:00:34] Yeah. Without feeling it. That's where the emotion again. Get in there and feel that. You've got to get in there and feel the pride and feel like you're enough. And that's again where the emotion can really. Celebrate it. Celebrate it. Celebrate self. So often we beat ourselves up. It's like, this isn't working.
[01:00:50] That's not working. And you can imagine beating yourself up brings the, end experience is an emotion. So you're gonna feel crap if you're beating yourself [01:01:00] up instead we flip this and we go Yeah, this is working. Well, yeah, and you know feel it in here in the heart Yeah, pride is a big motivator if you're feeling proud of yourself for what you're doing You're more likely to do more of it.
[01:01:13] It's a fact. I'd say that is a transformational. Yeah, and I often say
[01:01:18] Sorry there. I often say, you know It's easy to not celebrate the wins, even the small one. But if you have accomplished something, take a minute and just be like. You know, I've done that. I have done that and we're going to celebrate it and make it a big deal even if it doesn't feel like it or even if you feel self indulgent, you know, like just do it.
[01:01:40] Just celebrate that. Even if everybody else has done it, you've now done it. So
[01:01:45] go and... Yeah, and that, that's rewiring. This is all rewiring, relearning. Yeah, reconditioning yourself to something new. It's been so profound. I've had women very, when I first very started move, they're like, I don't know. I don't know what I've [01:02:00] done well.
[01:02:00] It was really challenging for them to. For one, focus on themselves because they're so focused on what everyone else is doing or not doing. But to go, hang on a minute, I'm doing this well. So that is a really important part and step of the journey of transformation and healing is to acknowledge yourself.
[01:02:19] Because then you're being more aware of what you're doing and you're actually taking time to acknowledge and that feels good I want to bring more of those feelings in yeah, and the following week. So I Rotate them the the the others this session. So they're sharing wins with a meditation. So I swap it up fortnightly But otherwise, the two sessions, they're set, they're walk and talk, engaging.
[01:02:42] So it's not just me, it's everyone coming on and sharing their experience. If I talk about... Interactive, yeah. Oh, interactive, massively. If I talk about beliefs and someone, you know, I've talked about conditioning in the past and they go, oh yeah, I was told I wasn't allowed to cry. So they get the chance to express it, [01:03:00] they get the chance to heal it, reconcile it, there's a lot of aha moments.
[01:03:04] So that flows through for four months every week. So it's commitment. The meditation we go, they get to stop for one, not many people stop, they get to go into their subconscious and we get to really shift programs around in meditation. So I do a lot of that, you know, sort of Joe Dispenza based work where we can really shift.
[01:03:23] Our old self to become a new self, to old beliefs, letting go of old beliefs, right, to a new belief, so really training the mind, which trains your body, you know, the connection, mind body. It's a big, big thing for mind body. We've got to do this. It's like going to the gym, yeah, training your muscle, and you know, if you consistently do it, you're going to get, you're going to see benefits.
[01:03:48] Right? And it's the training of the muscles, the repetitions, the patience. We need that with personal development. We need to be patient. We need to be, it does, it's, it's, it's a growth process, doesn't happen overnight. [01:04:00] It's why four months is a really good time to implement change and move is about integrating and these, these, we've got to integrate what we're learning.
[01:04:10] We've got to embody it. Yeah, it's no point just learning and going, yeah, I know all this now, the action taking. So I love that action taking part of move. There's reflective books. So for each module, yeah, you go in and write down your own values or your beliefs. You get that moment to put pen to paper, to reflect, right, to take action.
[01:04:31] Then there's one on one coaching with me. That's part of it too. That's where we go into the deeper wounds, perhaps beliefs. Yeah. Core, core beliefs. It's like getting to the, I love the garden analogy, we've got to get to the roots. We've got to get to the roots of those weeds. The weeds are your repetitive thoughts, which are your beliefs.
[01:04:49] We've got to extract them. Okay. So that we can plant new seeds. Otherwise they'll keep growing. If we just pluck a little, all right, you know, weeds keep coming. We've got to get to the roots, [01:05:00] take them out, we've got to, you know, perhaps there's some, some rocks in your garden, some energy blocks, we'll call them.
[01:05:07] We want to remove them too by feeling them. So that we can harvest, yeah, the, the rewards or the, reap the harvest of these new seeds. All right. And that's the new life you're creating. Now we'll plant new beliefs, yeah, new beliefs about yourself. You've got to nurture them. So you've got to come, you've got to, every day you've got to be doing your meditations, yeah.
[01:05:28] It does take Yeah, it takes that repetition. We've got to, you can't, yeah, and I think a lot of people think, yeah, it's just going to happen overnight, but you've got to be in there. Yeah, it's like that athlete, I know it, yeah, being an Olympic athlete, being a Hawaiian Ironman competitor, you've got to show up every day.
[01:05:44] You've got to show up, and we've got to do that for ourselves. And I think it's that, you know, four months, like I said, they start showing up for themselves, and they're like, ah. That self love comes back, that self belief, that self trust, that self compassion. And that's [01:06:00] the, essentially the journey of MOOC is to return to self love, self compassion, self trust.
[01:06:06] We work on the root system, yeah, so we work on nutrition, beliefs, emotions, purpose, core needs. We talk, there's so many, so many topics that we cover. Education for life. We talk about boundaries, huge, massive, goal setting, it's a big one, huge, relationships, intimacy. And we talk about all these things that perhaps haven't been taught that, that, that we need to know, that we need to start living into.
[01:06:34] Alright, and then we have two workshops. One's on emotional healing or emotional fitness and the other one is, is energy centers, chakras. So I do a workshop on that. Great. With the men's program, we can do a relationship one, so invite all the partners in. So it's. Wow. Yeah, it's really, really exciting.
[01:06:52] Yeah. It's just, you know, there's so much that we can, you know, start implementing and healing so that [01:07:00] we can live the life we want to live. Yeah, I know you get a lot of, we get a lot of clients going, yeah, is this it? Is this it? Is this all there is to life? Well, no, there's way, way more. And when we can start going deep inside, so it's a journey within, all right?
[01:07:14] And that's the pretty much, yeah, there's a Facebook platform where we all can, you know, can be on there every day if you want to be sharing motivational quotes. So it's very community, it's very encouraging, all right, that we can, you know, some pick someone up if they're feeling down, if they post something on Facebook that they're having a shitty day or that you post you're doing well, or yeah, all these certain things that we, you know, we create that environment so we can, through every move it's been different and the movement with the men is different again.
[01:07:46] It's the energy, the energy that everyone brings to the group is gonna, you know, make it what it is. And that's like life, we make it what it is, you know, through our energy and how we're showing up. And that is a lot of shifts of energy, I notice over those four months. [01:08:00] It's the energy shift, because every time we heal an emotion, we shift energy.
[01:08:05] Every time we think a different thought, we shift energy, all right? It's about being the master of your energy, so you can master your thoughts, your emotions, all right? And that light force that's within us, our intuition, to guide us to that life that, you know, everyone deserves to be happy, everyone deserves to have a life they love, ?
[01:08:24] So that is the move, and the move it's, it's, I've witnessed incredible transformations. Through that journey. I imagine. Yeah. It must be overwhelming
[01:08:35] in, you know, all the best ways to see these people move through the program. You know, at the end, it must be such a wonderful
[01:08:41] celebration. Yes, we do. We celebrate.
[01:08:44] We actually do. We have a send off, a celebration. I've just finished up with one move and we're all, you know, going to celebrate. That's part of the end. We do vision boards to send everyone off and celebrate, reflect and yeah, it doesn't end there though. The [01:09:00] community still open the platform. I'm still around, you know, so from the first move, they're still, you know, chatting with each other and it's beautiful.
[01:09:09] And then yeah, witnessing it is, is incredible. Like it's, there's nothing more beautiful than seeing someone, you know, reach out to me as this certain person and then walk out a different one all through everything that's within them already. Right. And it's just about guiding them to heal, to reconnect.
[01:09:30] To find their voice, to, to tap into their confidence, because everything we need and want and admire, and you know, if we admire something in someone, we have it within us. It's something that I've had to learn, you know, public speaking was a fear of mine, and I admired people that did it, and like. So how do I get there?
[01:09:48] Well, I've got to get myself out of my way first. I've got to get my, you know, fear of rejection out of the way, my fear of abandonment out of the way. Yeah, that I, you know, that I don't have any, you know, these [01:10:00] beliefs that are just, you know, holding us as captives almost. So yeah, it's, it's, and I grow with every move.
[01:10:07] With every move of them, I grow. It's a, we all grow together. I bet, yeah. Yeah. How could you not? Yeah. Yeah. I learned so anyone who's really keen and who's enjoyed... I've learned a lot, everyone has so much to give, everyone, I get inspired by every single person. There's so much that comes from people's lives and their wisdom and their intuition when they start to access it.
[01:10:29] Yeah, I imagine
[01:10:30] that there'd be beautiful bonds and friendships built throughout these programs as well, you know, with yourself and the, and the participants, but with each other too.
[01:10:39] Yeah. So anyone who's really keen, who's enjoyed what they've heard today and wanna know more about move or move 'em.
[01:10:47] Yep. Move them. Yep. How can they find that? Do you have a dedicated website or how can people kind of reach out?
[01:10:54] Yep, yep. I have a website, so it's my name, so WW dot Anna Bay. [01:11:00] Dot com au. Yeah, Facebook is also a platform, so Anna Bayless, life coach or Anna Bayless. Also Instagram you can find me there.
[01:11:11] Yeah, so a few different places I'll probably pop up 'cause there's that link to me. Being in Olympian is pretty big on, you know, on website searches. When you have had that experience. So yeah, it's very much, yeah. There's a lot out
[01:11:25] there about you. When I was, when I when you first got in touch for the show, I was having a look and I thought, my goodness.
[01:11:31] Yeah. Yeah.
[01:11:32] But what I'll do is those links that you've mentioned, I will post them below the video so that anyone can access them easily. And so, yeah, I think I wish anyone who has been listening and who's kind of hesitant or, you know, unsure, just reach out, you know, take that first step. So I'd really encourage anyone listening
[01:11:53] to do that.
[01:11:54] Thank you, Amy. It's about, yeah, normalizing emotions. That's, normalizing it that [01:12:00] it's okay to feel whatever you're feeling and know that you're not alone. It's a big one. It sounds
[01:12:05] like a really safe space to do that with this program. Correct. So,
[01:12:08] yeah. Yeah. Well, Anna, thank you very
[01:12:11] much for joining me today.
[01:12:13] Thank you. You've given us all a lot to think about, so. I'm going to go away and do some of that, some of that thinking and see how far
[01:12:19] I get. I like it. If we can change our thinking, we can change our reality. Remember that. And if we can, that's part of the work I do is to help clients think differently.
[01:12:29] Yeah, because the problem isn't the problem. It's the thinking that's the problem. So if we can start opening up, and I love that you said that, you're starting to think differently and you've opened more doors. There's more possibilities. There's a new life behind that door. It's beautiful.
[01:12:44] Yeah. One step at a time.
[01:12:46] Well, thank you again, Anna, and thank you to our listeners, for everyone who's been listening. It's been an absolute pleasure.
In this captivating episode, join us as we dive into the fascinating realm of emotional intelligence and empowerment with emotional wellness expert, Anna Baylis. Resources from this episode www.annabaylis.com.au
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